Sunday, March 7, 2010
Thursday, 3/4/10
Patrick had soccer practice tonight and I had a board meeting for PTA, so I dropped him off at the park and went over to the meeting. Addison came with me, Trav stayed home. Ty was at work. He picked Patrick up after practice. Came home, made dinner, finished working, went to bed. Story of my life. Oh, and Patrick did not do his homework project that is due tomorrow. I have a feeling there will be a life lesson for him tomorrow at school....
Wednesday, 3/3/10
Mom and Dad got back today and Mom wanted to come get Addison. I tried to tell her she needed a nap and could stay home but she came over anyway...and Addison did not want to go with her...she ran and got in bed and said she was taking a nap. And she did. I had to wake her to get the boys. Sorry Mom...she'll see you tomorrow!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Here's Becky Higgins, talking about her Project Life company and how it came to be....
http://www.thepaperlife.typepad.com/the-paperlife/2010/03/hello-becky-higgins-so-happy-to-have-you-stop-bye.html
http://www.thepaperlife.typepad.com/the-paperlife/2010/03/hello-becky-higgins-so-happy-to-have-you-stop-bye.html
FOUND THIS ONLINE...THOUGHT IT WAS WORTH REMEMBERING. Need to get Ty to read it too.
When Christine Carter became a parent, she realized that her work as a sociologist who studies happiness gave her a head start on being a good and happy parent. Rather than trying to solve problems in her family, she wanted to prevent them. That got her wondering what makes for happy families and children. The result of that questioning is Raising Happiness (Ballantine Books).
The book is chock-full of words—gratitude, forgiveness, optimism, and inner peace—I associate more with meditation than parenting manuals. But it's not at all woo-woo. Carter grounds her path to happiness in solid science, including behavioral psychology, which explains why praise is much more powerful in getting children to behave than punishment or nagging. Many of the findings are surprisingly simple. For instance, would you like to know the one thing that will make children do better in school, help them have fewer emotional problems, and make them less likely to become obese or have drug or alcohol problems? Eat dinner together as a family.
Science and simplicity in the service of happier families: That sounds like a winner. So I called up Carter, executive director of the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California-Berkeley, and asked her how I could start making my own family happier.
She said to start off by asking two questions about your life as a parent:
1. When are you happiest with your kids?
2. What part of the normal day with your family routinely causes suffering?
Then make sure your day is structured so that you get routine, habitual happiness and so that you're eliminating habitual pain.
Carter says that when she asked herself the second question, she realized that she hated getting her two daughters out the door for school. "Every single morning I was yelling at my kids [at] approximately the same time and for the same reason," she says.
So she decided to restructure those mornings so they'd be a shared joy, or at least neutral. The science of changing habits says you have to start off supersmall and build over weeks to a bigger result. So she had the kids put their shoes by the door the night before. In the morning, "I ended up setting a timer," Carter says. "It goes off twice. The first time it goes off, it means clear your dishes and go brush your teeth. The second is walk out the door to the bus." By the next morning, she says, "we didn't have such a bad morning. We had taken the first step."
Just as she changed the family's daily routine to make that one stressful period less miserable, Carter also focused on amplifying the moment that gives her the most joy in parenting. "For me, the most joy always comes at the end of the day when I'm putting the kids to bed" and they're telling me about their three good things [that happened in the day]. That's my most luscious thing, the thing I enjoy the most." To make sure that she didn't miss out on that moment when she had to work in the evenings, "we just moved [that bedtime routine] to after school. They sit on the couch with me and cuddle, and we read a book and they tell me about their three good things."
Carter says that despite her deep knowledge of the science of happiness, she doesn't always do the right thing as a parent. "It's part of the journey, an incremental improvement process. But it's amazing to me how much this stuff works when you have the intention to have a happier morning," she says.
That's my challenge for the week: Make a happy moment with my child part of our routine, and engineer out one annoying bit of parenting. And I challenge you do to the same, too. What will be your happiness moment? What suffering will you avoid?
When Christine Carter became a parent, she realized that her work as a sociologist who studies happiness gave her a head start on being a good and happy parent. Rather than trying to solve problems in her family, she wanted to prevent them. That got her wondering what makes for happy families and children. The result of that questioning is Raising Happiness (Ballantine Books).
The book is chock-full of words—gratitude, forgiveness, optimism, and inner peace—I associate more with meditation than parenting manuals. But it's not at all woo-woo. Carter grounds her path to happiness in solid science, including behavioral psychology, which explains why praise is much more powerful in getting children to behave than punishment or nagging. Many of the findings are surprisingly simple. For instance, would you like to know the one thing that will make children do better in school, help them have fewer emotional problems, and make them less likely to become obese or have drug or alcohol problems? Eat dinner together as a family.
Science and simplicity in the service of happier families: That sounds like a winner. So I called up Carter, executive director of the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California-Berkeley, and asked her how I could start making my own family happier.
She said to start off by asking two questions about your life as a parent:
1. When are you happiest with your kids?
2. What part of the normal day with your family routinely causes suffering?
Then make sure your day is structured so that you get routine, habitual happiness and so that you're eliminating habitual pain.
Carter says that when she asked herself the second question, she realized that she hated getting her two daughters out the door for school. "Every single morning I was yelling at my kids [at] approximately the same time and for the same reason," she says.
So she decided to restructure those mornings so they'd be a shared joy, or at least neutral. The science of changing habits says you have to start off supersmall and build over weeks to a bigger result. So she had the kids put their shoes by the door the night before. In the morning, "I ended up setting a timer," Carter says. "It goes off twice. The first time it goes off, it means clear your dishes and go brush your teeth. The second is walk out the door to the bus." By the next morning, she says, "we didn't have such a bad morning. We had taken the first step."
Just as she changed the family's daily routine to make that one stressful period less miserable, Carter also focused on amplifying the moment that gives her the most joy in parenting. "For me, the most joy always comes at the end of the day when I'm putting the kids to bed" and they're telling me about their three good things [that happened in the day]. That's my most luscious thing, the thing I enjoy the most." To make sure that she didn't miss out on that moment when she had to work in the evenings, "we just moved [that bedtime routine] to after school. They sit on the couch with me and cuddle, and we read a book and they tell me about their three good things."
Carter says that despite her deep knowledge of the science of happiness, she doesn't always do the right thing as a parent. "It's part of the journey, an incremental improvement process. But it's amazing to me how much this stuff works when you have the intention to have a happier morning," she says.
That's my challenge for the week: Make a happy moment with my child part of our routine, and engineer out one annoying bit of parenting. And I challenge you do to the same, too. What will be your happiness moment? What suffering will you avoid?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Another day with Addison home..actually got more done today than yesterday. Mom and Dad will be back tomorrow. They went to their land. I have mixed feelings about them moving away, but I guess that is to be expected. I have never not lived close to them. It will be weird.
Tonight was the Cici's fundraiser for soccer. Margie asked if we wanted to meet her, but before I responded, I asked Ty if he wanted to go and surprise, he did. So, I told her we could not go with them (they were going at 5, Ty does not get off until 7). She said "when he calls you to cancel, we'll be here." Well, at about 6-ish he called and said he was tired and was just going to go home. I said he was not going home because we did not go with Margie so we could go with him. Anyway, then I heard the line was out the door at Cici's so we ended up meeting him at Lina's. So much for a fundraiser. But from what I heard, they raised plenty. There is another one next month. We'll be meeting Margie at 5 for that one. :)
Today I heard Addison say "Oh my God" and I corrected her and said "oh my Gosh" and she said "oh my God" and I said "Oh my Gosh" and she said "oh my God" and I said "oh my gosh" and she sat there for a minute and then said "Holy Cow!" :)
Then we were at Lina's and she asked for ketchup. She only had a little bowl with her food in it, no room for ketchup, so I put some on her placemat. She got very upset with me and said she did not WANT it on her placement. She sat there and looked at the ketchup and then said "damit".
Great....she even says it in context.
Tonight was the Cici's fundraiser for soccer. Margie asked if we wanted to meet her, but before I responded, I asked Ty if he wanted to go and surprise, he did. So, I told her we could not go with them (they were going at 5, Ty does not get off until 7). She said "when he calls you to cancel, we'll be here." Well, at about 6-ish he called and said he was tired and was just going to go home. I said he was not going home because we did not go with Margie so we could go with him. Anyway, then I heard the line was out the door at Cici's so we ended up meeting him at Lina's. So much for a fundraiser. But from what I heard, they raised plenty. There is another one next month. We'll be meeting Margie at 5 for that one. :)
Today I heard Addison say "Oh my God" and I corrected her and said "oh my Gosh" and she said "oh my God" and I said "Oh my Gosh" and she said "oh my God" and I said "oh my gosh" and she sat there for a minute and then said "Holy Cow!" :)
Then we were at Lina's and she asked for ketchup. She only had a little bowl with her food in it, no room for ketchup, so I put some on her placemat. She got very upset with me and said she did not WANT it on her placement. She sat there and looked at the ketchup and then said "damit".
Great....she even says it in context.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Wow, already March! Hard to believe. Time to get caught up on PLife. I'll do that on Saturday. I printed out some more pictures...need to go back and see what I need and print them too.
anyway, Today was interesting. Mom and Dad were out of town, so Addison stayed home with me today. She was pretty good too. I managed to get more done than I thought I could with her, which tells me she is not a baby anymore. She is so smart...just amazes me everyday.
Travis and Patrick are smart too, were smart babies. I was not amazed with Travis, though because I did not have anything to compare him to and did not realize how smart he was. I do have something to compare her to, and I'm amazed everyday at how smart she is. It's scary sometimes.
Kayla came over today and played with her after school. I was able to get more of my work done while she was here, so that was great. Addison just loves Kayla. She asks about her on a regular basis. Kayla is so good with her too.
anyway, Today was interesting. Mom and Dad were out of town, so Addison stayed home with me today. She was pretty good too. I managed to get more done than I thought I could with her, which tells me she is not a baby anymore. She is so smart...just amazes me everyday.
Travis and Patrick are smart too, were smart babies. I was not amazed with Travis, though because I did not have anything to compare him to and did not realize how smart he was. I do have something to compare her to, and I'm amazed everyday at how smart she is. It's scary sometimes.
Kayla came over today and played with her after school. I was able to get more of my work done while she was here, so that was great. Addison just loves Kayla. She asks about her on a regular basis. Kayla is so good with her too.
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